No past. No future. Just the unending Present. I was living moment to moment and I didn't recognize it until Fawn's walking lecture."Body and mind are linked," Fawn said. "If you are in a child's body, you soon experience the child's mind. You see things from a child's viewpoint. You think as if you were a child—and not as an adult in a small body."I thought about inserting something about the totality of environment, about how being treated like a child was perhaps more important than having a little body—but decided that arguments were counter-productive. Besides, it was time to empty my bowl. If my bowl was full of stew, any dessert would simply slop stew out of the bowl.There was dessert aplenty surrounding us. I regarded Fawn as primo eye candy. Slender, blonde—she was almost fairy-like. Blonde hair currently clipped in something called a Page Boy. Blue eyes. Small breasts. Smooth-skinned. Her nipples were pale—and at the moment they were puffed up. Fawn was taller than me—but. We're behind on our bills and I can't depend on him. If she has the baby It'll ruin us."I couldn't believe she was talking like she was going to stay with him. I decided to be blunt."You could just dump his cheating ass and let him deal with it." I thought about it, but it gets more complicated. I just found out I'm two months along. I can't deny my baby his father, I just can't. What am I gonna do?"She collapsed into tears again.I was so angry with her husband Ron I wanted to kill him. I thought about it as she cried.I had her wipe her face with a cool cloth."Listen to me. Then promise that what I say never leaves this room. I have a little money. I'll pay for her abortion. I don't want you to pay me back, and I want your promise never to speak of it again. That will solve the problem short term."My voice got harder."My price is you have to listen to me without interruption. Next to Janie, you're the finest woman I know. Kind, loving, beautiful. Any man would be proud to walk beside.
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